Neo's fantastical search for the perfect present!
by Elderfire1
Summary: On the eve of Dustmas, one little thief has encountered a most terrible problem! She has forgotten to get her most beloved set of abs, and the man she loves attached to them, a present! what is she to do? Find out in the holiday special of Pink Lemonade!


**Hello folks! Elderfire1 and JourneysEnd1 here with a Pink Lemonade, Christmas special! **

**Now, you may be asking, is this Canon? Is this going to be serious? Or will it be funny? Will there be a message about something to do with Christmas that we've heard a million times before? Will Neo still be obsessed with Jaune's abdominal muscles!?**

**The answers are as follows; **

**Not at the moment, but heck! We might make it in the future.**

**Hah! Nope!**

**We hope it is!**

**Of course! No Christmas movie, from B movie knock offs to the blockbusters, are without them!**

**Naturally! It was kinda the starting point of the main story! We literally sat down and thought, what would happen to poor Jaune if Neo developed an obsession with his muscles?**

**Anyway, from you to us, we hope to you enjoy and have a merry Christmas!**

**Neo's fantastical search for the perfect present!**

Neo had a problem, a most terrible problem! Something that was plaguing her since the very moment she had felt the first fleck of that damn white stuff land on her nose in the middle of the street!

The holidays were coming! The fucking holidays were coming! What was she to do? What could she do!?

She was running and bouncing and hopping and crashing around her apartment in her panic as she tried to figure out what the hell to do! She should have planned ahead! This should have been done weeks ago!

But nooooooo, any time she had even _thought _of going out to sort this mess, she'd been distracted by her stupid, sexy, boyfriend!

_Hey Neo! Mind helping me out? I uh… I was taking off my hoodie and kinda got… _stuck…_ it's stuck around my shoulders, crud and of course I'm showing off my chest to world! Gods, this is so embarrassing!_

_Gah! Who leaves a jug of water on top of a fridge like that!? Neo, could you grab me a spare shirt, please? Crud, it's gone all see through!_

_Hey… I'm… well, it's our six-month anniversary and I was kinda wondering… would you wanna ma-maybe stay here tonight? The rest of our team are out for 'til late after all. I got that special ice-cream you wanted, the stuff that won't melt quickly, even at _body_ temperature~_

She stopped for a second to fight off the blush that formed over her entire face and felt her eyes tingle pink and _red_ as she remembered all the _uses _that they'd found for that ice-cream that night. Her pause lasted only for a second, before she resumed to jump around the place like a mad hatter.

The reason for her panic?

It was _one _day before Dustmas! Now, you may be confused as to why she would be worried about this. Dustmas is a time for happiness and cheer, after all! But there was one, teensy weensy problem.

You know what? No. Calling it either 'teensy' or 'weensy' was like calling a Psycho bitch trying, and doing pretty damn well at it, to destroy a city a 'teensy weensy problem'.

It was a _big _problem. So big in fact that she might have nearly burst a blood vessel in panic when she realised her _colossal _fuck up.

She hadn't gotten Jaune a present!

How could she have been so stupid!? This was her _first _Dustmas with him and she hadn't gotten him a present... Oum dammit she needed to get him something but would she have time!? Would she even be able to get to the docks before they closed to give it to him? They were only open for a couple more hours and in that time she'd have to get to the shopping district, find something _perfect _enough to suit her boyfriend and get to them in time to deliver said present! This was impossible! She was screwed! She was-

_No. _She stopped, smacking her hands onto her cheeks a couple times until they turned red. _I am _going_ to get him something! Even if it kills me! _

And so, with panic evaded for the moment, she charged her door not noticing how she knocked over her uncle who'd been watching her with a confused expression the entire time. She also didn't hear the string of curses as he tumbled over their couch and onto a half-finished pot of ice-cream, his cries of horror over the state of his jacket echoing through the building making a few people wonder just what the hell those two were up to now?

**1:30 until the Bullheads close**

Neo stormed through the streets, a terror in her eyes and even more in the people that saw the girl with the morphing eyes slam past them at break neck speed.

_Okay, okay, okay... think! What would Mr Abs like? Hmmm... electric muscle tenser? Couldn't hurt to work that core even more than it already was. Beard trimmers? Might give him the push to let his stubble grow out like he's been wanting to lately. A coupon for unlimited refills of ice-cream at Burrito House? He is always going on and on abo- wait. Those are things that _I _want for him! _She shook her head and thought more and more on just what would work perfectly.

Then. It hit her. Literally.

With a smack to the face that damn near floored her, Neo came to a dead stop, ripping the offending object from her angry face, hearing a small kid scream in terror at the sight of her black eyes but frankly? She could not have given less of a shit right now.

She was about to throw the damn thing to the ground when she caught sight of just what it was;

_**Signed X-ray and Vav comics give away today!**_

_**The creators of the popular comic: X-ray and Vav done it again!**_

_**This Dustmas, we at Comicstorian* have been gifted with 100 signed copies of each of the first five issues ever released of everyone's favourite, silly duo! Also including free merchandise from the series such as action figures, shirts and accessories!**_

_**The store will be offering them on Dustmas Eve from 4-8pm **_

_**We hope to see you there!**_

_No way… this… this can't be possible… right? _She blanked, eyes wide as she tried to figure out if Mushroom Head playing was a trick on her just to piss her off.

But no… this-this was real!

_YES! Santa _does_ exist! I better hurry! They've already been on sale for a little while, gah! Jaune will be so happy!... Maybe he'll do that thing I've been wanting to do for a little while in gratitude… heheh…_

Neo raced down the street with a giddy expression on her face, not noticing that she nearly knocked over a familiar couple who were blushing up a storm as they held hands, one letting out a content purr at the others warmth.

No. The only thoughts going through her mind at that time was a very _specific _kind of Banana split… a very _big_ banana split…

**1:00 until the Bullheads close**

She _finally _made it to the store! Gods damn had it been a test of patience to not kill the idiots who decided they needed to take a picture of _every. Single. Light! _Seriously! Who took pictures of what was basically the same thing over and over again!?

Neo vehemently ignored the fact that she had a rather large collection of pictures of every time she'd seen her boyfriend shirtless. Besides, it was totally different! Those were important and would later serve to educate the masses on what the epitome of sexy was back then!... _yes… that's totally the reason I have those… betterment of mankind and all that… stuff._

Her relief quickly turned to panic when she saw the positively massive line that was literally leading out of the door and the veritable tidal wave of people and kids flying out of it with each and every one of them having a stack of comics and swag in their arms and big grins on their faces.

_Aaaaah! Oh no! The line is so long! What can I do!? They'll be sold out before I know it!_ she screamed, clutching at her hair tightly and near pulled it out as she bounced in place impatiently. It wasn't like she could just magically make herself front of line or anything, could she!?... or could she?

~A devilish idea formed in little (HEY!) Neo's mind, one so dastardly and mean, that it would make even Salem herself smirk with eyes twinkling an evil gleam.

She slinked and slunked with a smirk on her face, using her semblance to make her look like nothing but empty space.

Though she passed many who she moved around with the skills of the best, a few pairs of people caught her eye more than the rest.

She slithered around a fat man, full of pimples and a neck beard of massive proportions as he smugly, and wrongly, proclaimed a girl wasn't a true fan because she wasn't aware Vav's favourite word was lass. She bore the largest of grins when she hooked her parasol around his ankle and sent him tumbling down onto his fat ass!

She danced around a pair of tween boys who excitedly talk about who was better of the famous pair, they didn't spot her spin past them without a care.

She ignored the urge to trip the both of them, as they fought to prove who was best! Anyone with a brain knew Hilda was greater than the rest!

She twirled around a final pair, an excited little boy hopping as he waited and happily told what she assumed to be his father how excited he was that they were nearly there after how long the line took, well the little boy would have to be patient and wait behind this clever crook!~

She tapped the shoulders of the two, getting them to spin in confusion before she finished her evil scheme.

A girl was in front of them and she had the feeling her mothers name was Karen because she had an entitled air about her and had been doing her best to get the pregnant mother in front of her to let her past, claiming she was more important than her because she earned more money! And gods that hair cut... it was pretty clear she demanded to see the manager more than once a year. There was one good thing though.

She was about Neo's height! Too bad she looked like she was only 14...

Well... she guessed it would balance out her karma by doing a good deed for the day!

She hooked her parasol around the bag of the girl, being careful to make sure she couldn't feel what she was doing, and flung the damn thing across the store watching in evil glee as the girl chased it with a panicked look on her face, yelling 'my receipts were in there!'

it was proof of just how annoying she was, when she tried to barge past people to get back to 'her' place, she was shoved right back and told to get to the back of the line! hah!

With that done, Neo quickly 'appeared' in her place, shifting her appearance to look just like her, much as it made her feel gross to do it. She managed this just as the father and kid turned around to face her.

_Hah! The perfect crime!_ She mentally cheered for herself, big grin on her face. Now all she had to do was wait for her turn, she could tell that there was just enough comics there to let her get her boyfriend his present and be back in record time!

**00:45 until the Bullheads close**

"Here you are, miss!" the happy salesman told her, a big grin on her face as she took hold of her treasure... she had it... she had them all! All five issues all packaged together perfectly! And the merch was actually really good as well!

With a grin, she turned around to make her way to the Bullhead docks, and maybe get a certain frozen treat as a reward, anyone foolish enough to think that ice-cream couldn't be had at Dustmas could get in the bin in her opinion!

Then... then she heard it.

"Sorry folks! We're all out! Better luck next year and a Merry Dustmas to you all!" The man called out, a collective mass of annoyed groans and wails going through the air as all the people began to make their way out of the store with various cries of how unfair it all was.

Neo couldn't have cared less, to be honest! It was their own fault for not getting here early enough or being clever like herself!

"Please... please you have to have another... I'm begging you" a pained and tired voice called out from behind her, for some reason, she found herself pausing. She turned around to find the same father-son duo looking in a pretty sorry state.

The son looked close to tears and the father like he was about to collapse.

"This is the only time of year I can get him something like this... I... please, can't you just check?"

Now that she paid attention to them, a few things dawned on Neo. The state of their clothing for one; they were clearly old and second hand clothes, the boys set looking at least a couple sizes too big for him. They were tattered and had more layers than was necessary, but neither seemed to care as they just stared hopefully at the man behind the counter. The dad looked dirty and had a large beard growing with a mane of unkempt hair shooting out of the top of his head where a pair of reindeer antlers greeted her. The kid at least looked clean and his cheeks weren't as sunken in as the dads, fluffy reindeer tail poking out of his ratty jeans.

"I'm so sorry sir... but... that really was all of them. There's nothing I can do for you... the best I can say is that you'll have to get here earlier next year" the man sighed, nodding his head and turning to the kid who looked like he was going to break into tears at any moment.

"Sorry little buddy, I'll take us to the nice people at the shelter, I bet they'll have some nice stuff for you to read" he smiled, the kid pausing in his hiccups and looking his dad in the eyes... before he sniffled his nose, wiped it on his sleeve and smiled right back at him, Neo could see how upset he was, but he was still smiling for his dad, saying how he was just happy he got to all the cool stuff.

"C'mon dad, I bet those kids from last year will be there!" he smiled... yet Neo knew that look... this kid... he'd been so looking forward to this...

_Well, too bad, not my fault he's in a shitty situation._

His little boot broke as he walked, the poor kid nearly falling over, but managed to recover and simply shrugged at his concerned dad and kept on walking with the sole of his boot flopping as he went.

_Damn... well... I bet he'll get a new pair at the shelter! Hey! At least he has his health!_

The kid proceeded to violently cough, spittle flying from his lips as he brought up thread bare gloves to cover his mouth as the dad crouched low and took him into his arms, lifting him onto his back.

"I told you to tell me if you were getting tired, son... you had me worried for a second" the father scolded lightly, the son coughing a little again before laughing gently and rubbing his head embarrassedly.

"Sorry, daddy... I didn't want you worrying about me"

_Oh for... I... no. This is for Jaune and Jaune only! Besides! He has his parents to spend Dustmas with him... that's good enough, right?_

"Daddy..." the young kid said, with a pondering tone to his voice. "I miss mommy, why did she have to go on that mission to the stars again? Will she ever come back?"

"Sorry son... Mommy... mommy's mission is super-duper important! We won't see her for a long time yet"

"Oh... okay... I can't wait to show her the picture I drew for her! She's a Huntress! She's like a super hero! I bet she's kicking Grimm butt right now!"

"Heh... you... you bet, buddy"

_... oh, gods fucking dammit... _

Neo stormed forward, a quick flash of her semblance doing a very necessary change to her appearance as she did a little skip and a hop and landed in front of the startled pair with a big grin on her face.

She now wore a green and red Dustmassy style outfit, complete with gingly bells, a cone style hat that bent under the weight of an even bigger bell up top, deep green jacket and red under shirt with big, gold buttons and black lining to suite. She even went the extra mile and wore pointy shoes, a thick belt with a dark green buckle and a set of red tights that... huh... they did an amazing job of showing off her ass... _save that one for later..._

Her hair was pinned back in a pretty braid with crimson red hair so bright she knew she could pass as a Christmas light in a dark room with two strips of white running through it to give it a candy cane look to it. The braid carried down her neck and across her left shoulder, a little bit of mistletoe style banding tying the end together completing the look for her hair. She'd turned her eyes a deep green, the same as her jacket, and winked cheerily at the two of them as she held her treasured prize in her one hand and in the other, she held her scroll with the following message typed across it.*

_Hi there! I heard a young fella was looking for a little present for Dustmas? Oh, in case you're wondering, I can't talk so Santa gave me this nifty scroll to speak to all the kiddies of Remnant!_

The two stared at her for a moment, the dad in worry while the kid looked like, ironically, Dustmas had come early! He excitedly bounced on his dad's shoulders as the man cautiously set his son down but kept him behind his legs. She didn't exactly blame him, she bet her uncle would have reacted the same way when she was the kids age. Seeing as a complete stranger who was sounding like they were offering his kid candy... well, she'd have to prove she wasn't up to anything bad.

"... Yes... Can we help you, miss?" He asked, his suspicion growing when Neo pulled up her scroll and smiled, typing out a quick message.

_Yep! Or, I can help you! You see, Santa sent me out to do a special mission this year. Find the kid most deserving of a great Dustmas in Remnant and give him the present he deserves!_

She watched both of their eyes widen in shock and both of them look on disbelief as she held out the stack of comics and merch, doing her best to not show the pain on her face... _forgive me Jaune..._

"Wh-what's the catch?" the man asked, still so nervous and protective of his child... it brought a real smile to her face... he reminded her so much of her uncle that it made this so much easier.

_No catch, elf's promise! I know what it's like to be in a bad situation... so, take this as my way of paying back the people who helped me when I needed it most. _

The man blinked. Once, twice, three times before they brimmed with tears and a smile spread across his face, he gently turned to his son and smiled even more, pulling him forward gently and grinning warmly at the little boy.

"Go on son, you don't want o turn down this nice elf and Santa's gift, do you?" he joked, the kids eyes going wide as he jumped forward and gingerly held his hands open, eyes darting between her and the comics, a childish glee in his eyes.

"A-are these really... for me?" he asked, hands mere millimetres from the covers yet he refused to take them without her say so. _Heh... this kid is too good for this world._

_Yep! You bet! I made sure I brought it especially for you!_ A bare assed lie but meh, it clearly made the kid happy, if the way he grabbed the items and clutched them to his chest was anything to go off of. It didn't stop there though.

In a move that surprised her, the kid shot forward and embraced her in a hug that make her silently squeak in surprise at the sudden contact. It was warm, not just in the heat that he gave off but in the way it settled in her very heart, a small fuzzy sensation setting in her stomach as her hand reached up and gently tousled his hair, stroking down a few cow licks as she did.

"THANK YOU! THANK YOU, THANK YOU!" He cheered, hugging her tight before spinning around and showing off his prize to his dad who smiled all that much more at the happiness on his kids face. "Dad! Look! Look what the pretty elf lady got for me! I knew Santa was real!"

The dad sent the son to sit down on a nearby bench to read his comics before approaching a smiling Neo... really, it hurt so bad to see her present for Jaune taken away but... heh, he'd affected her more than she'd thought. Seeing that kids smile? Knowing his crappy life would at least be better for one night? It made all the upset worth it.

"I... I don't know what to say to you... you've made him so happy" he smiled, gently taking her hands, smoky grey eyes threatening to release a torrent of tears as he shook a little at her touch. "Please... Please, there has to be some way I can repay you for what you've done for me and my son? I beg you-" she stopped him with a raised hand, flicking a card from her jacket and offering it to the man with her scroll saying her words for her

_This is the location of a friend of mine, he can set you up with a job that will pay well and provide a safe place for you and your son to live and sleep... give him the life he deserves. Ask for Junior and tell him that Neo sent you, that'll be enough for him._

The father blinked a few times again, apparently kindness like this wasn't something he was used to.

He turned the card over in his hands and she imagined he was going to thank her from the way he looked up with those tears now breaking free, but she was long gone. Walking off into the night with her own smile on her face.

_Merry Dustmas kid..._

As she walked away, she never noticed a pair of kind and happy eyes staring at her from afar.

**Beacon academy Dustmas day**

Neo woke up with a sad sigh, despite her best efforts, she'd not been able to find a store in time… no matter how hard she looked, no matter where she tried, they were all either out of stock or closing for the night.

She'd failed to get Jaune a present… and there was a lot of stuff underneath the dinky little tree in the middle of the room, all wrapped in pink, white and brown, that he had clearly gotten for her…

She'd been lucky that they'd all been asleep when she got back, at least that would save her the pain of having to explain it to him then and deal with the tension throughout the night…

At least today she could take him aside and explain what she did and why she did it… at least then she hoped he wouldn't be as upset with her… he _was _her boyfriend after all, the practical _definition _of a white knight! But, even if he was, she'd take any and all anger he had, this was her fault after all… she'd just have to make it up to him in any way she could.

She just hoped he could deal with just having the dinky little card she'd made for him… she'd put all her love and affection into it, so at least that would soften the blow.

"Hey Neo!" he smiled, wrapping her in a warm hug and kissing the top of her head in greeting as he brought her to sit down beside him, her panic rising as her plan was falling apart before she could instigate it!

In panic, she pulled away and took his hand, trying her best to show with her eyes that she wanted him to follow her away for a minute.

He looked confused and worried for a moment, though was clearly about to follow before a yell from Cow Tits snapped their attention to her

"WHOA! Jauney! Neo's spoiled you this year! You better have gotten her a good present right back! Look at all of them!" she screeched, while Neo's mind came to a sudden, earth shattering halt.

_Gifts? Spoiled? All of them!?_ Th-that didn't make any sense! Why the hell would there be any presents from her to him!? she'd literally given away his present last night! How was this possible!? In a panic, she rushed forward, certain that she was making some kind of mistake…

Yet when she dropped to her knees in front of the tree, and looked around the little mountain meant for her, she spotted an equally large stack of yellow and white wrapped gifts, all addressed to her boyfriend from _herself!? _Little ones, big ones, long ones and short ones. They were all there and very much all meant to be from herself to him.

There was no denying it… there they were, her own writing and all… how… how in the hell was this possible!?

"Oh! You also got this letter for you, Neo. Dunno who it's from, it's almost like it was slipped under the door during the night" Mr Abs said, a little confusion in his voice as he offered her a red envelope with no discernible way of telling just who the heck it was from. She was left standing there as the rest of her friends sat in a circle as Cow Tits tore into a present from Captain Boring with glee and a slightly unhinged smile on her face- oh wait, that was just her regular smile.

At first, she thought it may have been a prank from the twins, where they'd actually filled the boxes with all sorts of… things… things that would make her poor boyfriend faint from shock, or die of blood loss if the lingerie they'd shown her wearing to him for his birthday was anything to go off of.

This was quickly squashed when he opened the first one and-

"Oh my gods! Neo, you really remembered me saying I needed a new set of belts! You're the best!" he grinned, smiling sweetly at her before he returned his attention back to the others.

Neo confusedly returned the smile, though her main attention was on the little letter in her hands. Tentatively, she opened the thing, the faint waft of peppermint invading her nostrils for a moment before she focused in and took out a single sided card with only a few words written in a fancy, curvy writing.

_During this time of cheer,_

_There is one thing to remember, my dear._

_A single kind act for those without,_

_Will be repaid without a doubt._

Before she could come to understand the frankly, weird as hell and confusing, writing, Neo felt a pair of strong arms begin to wrap around her stomach and a face bury itself in her hair, feeling the owner take in a deep breath of her scent.

"Hey, guess you did something really nice for someone this year, huh Neo?" Mr Abs said, gently spinning her around and bringing her into a deep kiss, full of love and passion. Neo feeling her eyes turn rosy red as she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull herself further into the kiss.

The purely romantic nature of the kiss was interrupted as she felt a sudden, though gentle, groping of her right butt cheek and a sly grin spread over her boyfriends' face.

"So… the gang are having a Dustmas party in team RWBY's dorm room tonight… I was thinking… maybe we could try that thing you've been wanting to do for a while? You know, as a way to thank you for what I can already tell are gonna be _awesome _presents" he squeezed extra hard for a second before releasing and cocking an eyebrow at her in a rare display of confidence from him, even if it was accompanied by a cheesy grin.

Her answer was a sudden shift into a much _deeper_ red and a licking of her lips. Any and all feeling up of abdominal muscles was purely coincidental as the loving pair made their way back to the circle, hand in hand.

She could have spent more time thinking on just how and when all these presents, which proved to mainly consist of things that she'd _given away_ last night, got into their room… but she decided to just smile and treat it as it was.

A miracle.

After all, Dustmas really was a magical time of year… though she could have sworn at one point in the night, she had woken up to the sight of something red that shined so bright...

***Comicstorian is a youtuber we like who works with comics so... meh, it's Christmas, we don't need a proper explanation!**

***ArthurSG is a fellow writer who, with our help, is writing another Neo x Jaune story called 'A Silent Connection' so please go check it out folks! he gave us permission to use his version of Neo for this story, which was adapted for elf Neo!**


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